I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
