The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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