Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
