Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
