He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
