I want to stick my p in your. b.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
