So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
