I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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