sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
