just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
