Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
