I could have mohawked her pubes.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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