He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
