So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
