I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
