I hate your face
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
