im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
