i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
