I wannas sexs uuuuu
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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