Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
