just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
