I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
