Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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