You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
