that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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