I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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