I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
