$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
