sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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