Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
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