operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
