I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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