Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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