why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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