You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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