Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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