DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
