my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
