you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
