Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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