Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
