There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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