We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
