Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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