Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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