Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She needs sedatives and a leash
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
