Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
