I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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