just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
