What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
