why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
