I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
